There’s a Scotsman driving through Europe and an Englishman driving in the opposite direction. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Scotsman manages to climb out of his car and survey the damages. He looks at his twisted car and says, “Jesus, I am really lucky to be alive!” Likewise, the Englishman scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, “I can’t believe I survived this wreck!” The Englishman walks over to the Scotsman and says, “You know, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of such rivals.” The Scotsman thinks for a moment and says, “You know, you’re absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I’m gonna see what else survived the wreck.” So, the Scotsman pops open his boot and finds a full-unopened bottle of Whiskey. He says to the English fella, I think this is another sign from God that we toast to our new found understanding and friendship.” The Englishman says, “You’re damn right!” and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down the Whiskey. After putting away nearly half the bottle, the
Englishman hands it back to the Scotsman and says, “Your turn!” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Please support the candidate of your choice .... Very important.....be sure to read every word carefully. There are less than eight months until the election,
an election that will decide the next President of the United States.
The person elected will be the president of all Americans, not just the
Democrats or the Republicans. To show our solidarity as Americans, let's all get together
and show each other our support for the candidate of our choice. If you support the policies and character of John McCain,
please drive with your headlights on during the day. If you support Obama or Hillary, please drive with your headlights off at night.
Subject: Funny... Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately
take the words back or that you could crawl into a hole ? _____ I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf
balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good- looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking,
I looked at him and said,
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store
that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display
case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female
While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy
passing out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were about sixteen flights
lined up waiting to get clearance to take off. Then the other Stewardess
got a message from the Pilot that the tower said the wind had changed 180
degrees and they were first in line to take off, and to have everyone buckle
up. Subject: Atlanta Air Traffic Control You gotta love this one even if you've never lived in the
South. Some of you will enjoy this more than others... Southerners can
be so polite! ...................... Pause... Saudi Air: " ATLANTA ATC - ATLANTA ATC" Atlanta
ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 511."
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